Maths, just the mention of the word was enough to bring me out in a cold sweat. Flashbacks of embarrassment and shame at my name being called and standing up in front of my classmates and not being able to give an answer to the question of “7 x 6?”

Memories of sitting in a classroom and every time thinking, OK I will be able to understand this and 5 minutes into the lesson, I am lost in a sea of numbers and words, with the only learning being that I am rubbish at maths, that I can’t do it, I feel stupid and am scared of it.

This fear stayed with me and every time numbers were mentioned in life i.e. banks, money, ratio of liquids, percentages in fitness, measures of liquids, weights of ingredients I would just block and my brain would shut down to protect me from the DANGER!!!!

Move forwards to the person I am now. Do I find math easy, some of it, yes. Do I struggle to understand the more complex math functions, yes, have I taken charge of math and broken out of my fear palace, YES!

So what has changed?  I found the key for me.  There are some people who naturally find math really easy to understand. I know I will never be one of those math genius. Math is still hard for me and I do make mistakes all of the time, however, I now actually accept my math functionality and enjoy it, rather than am afraid.

The changes came whilst teaching prisoners. Somehow I had managed to get my Level 2 Basic Skills qualification, however, I had no idea how to do half of the basic math functions. It was a sink or swim moment and I managed to swim and learn by making lots of mistakes and doing a deep dive into the subjects.

I related the theories back to practical things and this started to unlock my blocks and also those of my students. We looked at math in their everyday life and produced weight loss measures, nutritional evaluations, calculated how long it would take a person to get sober using the quantities they had drunk before coming into prison and budgeting for their canteen sheet.  These everyday activities helped them see the relevance and power of the numbers and empowered them.  

To help with the fear block that happens with a bigger or more complex math task, we developed a safe zone.  This was a simple example that they could refer to, to help them unblock when faced with a more complex question and approach it from a place of curiosity and exploration.

Finally on the wall was a quote from Albert Einstein – “A person who never made a mistake, never learned anything new.”

It helped me be brave and use the mistakes I made on the board as a learning opportunity for them and me and was the final hammer blow to my wall.

The journey not only helped me break down my wall but helped me see the anxiety I had about math and still can have. When working with a member of staff who is struggling with math, we not only look at how to relate it back to them, but also work on helping them with their awareness that they are also in and out of the fight, flight and freeze response and help them understand that their brain is trying to protect them from the mortal danger of a sabre-toothed tiger, when in actual fact, they are just trying to work out how to do a fraction or add up a sum.